An Epiphany and Self-Awareness

I’m going to be as honest and transparent as possible here. When I think of epiphany’s I always believed they came in moments of heightened spirituality. Meditating at a sacred spot, hearing a message at a place of worship or some other meeting with the divine at some predetermined sacred place.

When I was religious, I framed my intuitiveness, my deep inner knowing, that part of me that has knowledge I don’t know how I acquired, in ways that wouldn’t cause others to doubt my faith or my understanding of my denomination and it’s codified ways of living and being.

One thing I’ve never denied to myself and my family is a thing I call “The Click.” If you asked me about it I would say when something was for me, or a change needed to happen or a truth needed to be revealed something in me just clicks. Physically it feels like a pause and then a small jolt of electricity. Spiritually it is a sense of knowing and unshakeable truth. Emotionally it used to be coupled with shame and fear because I thought it was some type of ungodly power I had unwittingly tapped in to when I was “backslidden” (A blog series in itself). It wasn’t/isn’t a burning bush or a thunderous voice. I simply know that a life truth is being revealed, and whenever I’ve experienced it, it’s never been wrong.

Now at this point I know some of you are asking yourself what a picture of me in a room full of people has to do with an epiphany or The Click. I’ll tell you. My blog association ,H.A.A.B., hosted an event entitled “Pitch Perfect” where we knew in advance that someone from Synergy Radio Network would be filming. I wasn’t expecting it to be one of the managing partners but it was nice to see Oscar again. At the end of the event he suggested that we do a 30 second or less recording of who we are and what we do. When he caught up with me and my partner-in-fun for the evening, Artemis Reign neither of us was really prepared to record, and let’s face it. Me trying to say anything for only 30 seconds is a herculean task.

After he gave the go signal I took a breath and something really close to: “My name is Tishea, Ms. Twisted N Turned, a lifestyle blogger whose focus is to help the descendants of the enslaved live as healthily as possible,”  then I smiled and stopped speaking.  He and Artemis may not have caught it but my eyes went wide when I thought about the words I had just spoken. My heart began to thud and my brain began to race. I thought about what I said all the way home. I shared it with my daughter when I got home because The Click had been as loud and clear as a bell ringing in my ears.

The next day I shared it with my husband and son. They both felt the power of the statement and pointed out ways that I was already doing the work.  The support of my family means a lot to me as I open myself up to all the joys, growing pains, introspection and truth that I will need to process in order to help my people help themselves to live their lives in truth and power.

Do I have all of the answers as to how I’m going to build my brand, make enough money to positively impact my community in a large way and do all of this while living with chronic illness? Nope. What I do have is the belief that I and my people are worthy, the tools exist and I can be a large part of the change I want to see.

How do you know when you’re in the right place at the right time and doing what you are supposed to be doing?

Why I Blog

Images of Tishea & some of her interests

If I had to share the why of my blogging journey I’d have to say that a large part of what drives me is finding my voice and making myself heard. As a child I suffered abuse on multiple levels that left me feeling unheard and unprotected. As I got older I decided that I would never allow myself to be silenced again.

While I endured more than any child should, I did have moments of happiness and good memories and I am fortunate enough to come from a highly talented gene pool. There were always opportunities to learn things outside of what a lot of people thought a little Black girl from the hood should know. Even within the confines of respectability politics, there was a family mantra passed down from my Nana who used to frequently say, “Every day is a good day to learn.”

From my natural curiosity, above-average intellect (I’m SOOO articulate), and soul deep love of reading I found ways to escape and to amass a fairly large collection of interesting tidbits of information and talents. I am also a semi-reformed craft-a-holic (I no longer have back-ups of my back-up crafting items) whose body does well on about 6 hours of sleep a day which is more time to create, which in turn serves as a consistent way to stave off serious depression.

Blogging allows me to share what I know, what I feel, my experiences and perspectives on many intersecting points of living as a descendant of the enslaved in America. It allows me to provide a virtual shoulder and to increase my empathy and understanding of those in the Black community living with chronic illness. That journey alone could fill a blog with posts for a lifetime.

Blogging serves as a virtual diary of as much of my life experiences as I choose, living as transparently as possible while pursuing the things that matter most to me.

Lastly, it provides an opportunity for me to generate income to be used to invest in my family and my community, strengthening and empowering with what I have where I am.

I always love learning the “why” of what I do and this challenge prompt helped me clarify a few things for myself. If you blog why do you do it?