An Epiphany and Self-Awareness

I’m going to be as honest and transparent as possible here. When I think of epiphany’s I always believed they came in moments of heightened spirituality. Meditating at a sacred spot, hearing a message at a place of worship or some other meeting with the divine at some predetermined sacred place.

When I was religious, I framed my intuitiveness, my deep inner knowing, that part of me that has knowledge I don’t know how I acquired, in ways that wouldn’t cause others to doubt my faith or my understanding of my denomination and it’s codified ways of living and being.

One thing I’ve never denied to myself and my family is a thing I call “The Click.” If you asked me about it I would say when something was for me, or a change needed to happen or a truth needed to be revealed something in me just clicks. Physically it feels like a pause and then a small jolt of electricity. Spiritually it is a sense of knowing and unshakeable truth. Emotionally it used to be coupled with shame and fear because I thought it was some type of ungodly power I had unwittingly tapped in to when I was “backslidden” (A blog series in itself). It wasn’t/isn’t a burning bush or a thunderous voice. I simply know that a life truth is being revealed, and whenever I’ve experienced it, it’s never been wrong.

Now at this point I know some of you are asking yourself what a picture of me in a room full of people has to do with an epiphany or The Click. I’ll tell you. My blog association ,H.A.A.B., hosted an event entitled “Pitch Perfect” where we knew in advance that someone from Synergy Radio Network would be filming. I wasn’t expecting it to be one of the managing partners but it was nice to see Oscar again. At the end of the event he suggested that we do a 30 second or less recording of who we are and what we do. When he caught up with me and my partner-in-fun for the evening, Artemis Reign neither of us was really prepared to record, and let’s face it. Me trying to say anything for only 30 seconds is a herculean task.

After he gave the go signal I took a breath and something really close to: “My name is Tishea, Ms. Twisted N Turned, a lifestyle blogger whose focus is to help the descendants of the enslaved live as healthily as possible,”  then I smiled and stopped speaking.  He and Artemis may not have caught it but my eyes went wide when I thought about the words I had just spoken. My heart began to thud and my brain began to race. I thought about what I said all the way home. I shared it with my daughter when I got home because The Click had been as loud and clear as a bell ringing in my ears.

The next day I shared it with my husband and son. They both felt the power of the statement and pointed out ways that I was already doing the work.  The support of my family means a lot to me as I open myself up to all the joys, growing pains, introspection and truth that I will need to process in order to help my people help themselves to live their lives in truth and power.

Do I have all of the answers as to how I’m going to build my brand, make enough money to positively impact my community in a large way and do all of this while living with chronic illness? Nope. What I do have is the belief that I and my people are worthy, the tools exist and I can be a large part of the change I want to see.

How do you know when you’re in the right place at the right time and doing what you are supposed to be doing?

Who am I? – H.A.A.B. Blog Challenge Day 1

 

Images of Tishea & some of her interests
Holistic Entrepreneurship with Soul

I am. A powerful and declarative statement. When I say “I am” I am declaring that I have looked inward and weighed my own thoughts versus the opinions and suggestions of those around me. I have looked at myself, through a lens of truth, and have discovered myself. Who I am. What my purpose is. Where my passions lie.

Learning about what motivates me and why is just the beginning. I must keep learning, questioning and seeking the information that will help me to make the choices and live the life that I want to live. If I’m not evolving I’ll drown in stagnation and mediocrity. I don’t want to live my life from a position of less than the best that I can be.

A large part of living in my truth is the acceptance of living with chronic illness. It affects every part of my life including my entrepreneurial efforts. I’ll be transparent and say that this part of my journey has not been easy. I hate the physical limitations that I experience and have had to learn/acquire tools to help manage the mental stress.

There have been positives from navigating this reality however. I’ve learned (OK in some areas still learning) to set and accept my own limitations and boundaries. I no longer try to be super woman or all things to all people. I’ve become better at processing stressors and avoiding unnecessary ones. I’ve learned to surround myself with people who are not only like-minded, but who trustworthy enough for me to share the sometimes embarrassingly intimate details of my illness.

I’ve learned how to be a more honest and open wife, mother, grandmother and friend. The love and support of my family has been a tremendous blessing and I truly appreciate them. They support me when I’m down and cheer me when things are going well. They provide listening ears and shoulders to cry on. They see and encourage me when I don’t clearly see a how or understand the why.

One of biggest and most surprising aspects of navigating my life now is being able to more accurately define who I am as an entrepreneur. I found that I couldn’t follow someone else’s business structure or approach, but needed to know what would work for me. I learned to define what success looks like to me. It wasn’t what I thought it was. Success means to me that I possess enough capital to reinvest in my community making a positive impact. It means that I leave the lives I touch better than when I entered. It means that I live in truth on a consistent basis and live it unapologetic and unafraid. It means that I reduce the burden I put on the planet we all share to leave a better legacy for those to come. It means that I teach, support  and empower the Black community in every way that I can. It means that I hold space for those I can when I can.

I appreciate your interest in my journey and hope that something I say, create or share touches your life in such a way that you feel empowered to pay it forward.

I also possess enough curiosity for two people (OK occasionally I’m down right nosy) so I’d like to know If you’re an entrepreneur what does success mean to you?